www.xanga.com/bittersweetromantic

About time I make the switch? I just have to somehow get my subscriptions and shtuff over there.

On a bloggish note, I feel really lonely because of school. For instance, I love being in a school production, but I hate having to eat dinner alone half the week. I guess I love not failing school, but I hate forcing myself to stay home to do HW while my family goes out.
I think I'm too young to feel this disconnected from my family. I don't have my own family yet, so there's really no reason for me to feel like I don't see my parents or brother enough.

Resolute.

Happy belated new year, everyone. I watched the ball drop (but of course, I wouldn't miss that for the world). At first I was upset that they used another new ball. I mean, wasn't last year's (or maybe the year before that) ball brand new already? Tradition, mate. Seriously. But then I learned that the new ball was energy efficient (it requires the same amount of energy needed to power just 10 toasters), I was satisfied. Yet torn. That's how I am. learn to love it.

Winter break was kind of harrowing for me? Skiing wasn't so fun. I think I had a grade 1 concussion for a bit when I slid on black effing ice. Why is there black ice on a ski slope? Maybe because it's Virginia, and it's so warm that the only stuff on the slope is totally rock hard, clear ice. I wouldn't have fallen if my skis didn't get into that little stretch. I fell on my head and, instead of just sitting there in my misery, continued to slide down the slope because of the ice. On my back. Headfirst. So I had to somehow stop... which took a while. Let's just say I don't ski anymore, hm? I did get some footage of me pwning a bunny hill though. 'Tube it?
I spent a lot of time with my SAT book. And Disney Channel. Whoo. I also got this crazy amazing soft bathrobe. I don't really wear bathrobes a lot, but it's so darn soft! Perfect for Bathrobe Thursdays.

Lately I've been getting really into Asian pop, especially Korean pop? Even though I don't understand a word of it whatsoever. I'm not really sure why. Just surfing around Youtube I see a lot of Korean MVs and I watch some and hear some good songs. I think one thing for sure is that Korean pop stars are really good dancers. Seriously. I need to step up any game that I thought I had. The songs have good beats, too, so it doesn't matter that I don't know what they mean... right?

Speaking of me not understanding Korean, I have a pretty good grasp on the "alphabet" system. I can write names that I know the romanizations of in hangul so yay. And I can read aloud... okay not really but I'm getting there. Next step: meaning much?? It should be easier than Chinese, though... hopefully. Because Chinese is one of the hardest languages to learn and I am pretty good at it.

So yeah. Overall internet hiatus right now. I have taken AIM off my computer and I don't go on Facebook much. Youtube... meh. Never was that big, so it's not a big deal with that. And I haven't gone on Stickam in a while, so yeah. Hopefully I can stick to my resolution of not being such a lazy procrastinator!

Wishes

Thank you everyone who wished me a happy birthday yesterday. Although I spent most of the day recovering from a fever and doing an econ paper, I really really appreciated the 100 notifications I got on Facebook and the phone calls. ^_^

I failed the PSAT. My math score is what killed me; it went down 5 points while my CR went up 6 and my W went up 7. Now my parents are going to have my answers checked because they don't think my math score should've fallen so much, but I'm worried that it really did because of carelessness or sheer stupidity.
GAHHH.
When they hand-checked, Collegeboard-took-yo-money-and-shoved-it-down-its-pants-again score report comes back saying, "Your daughter really DID get these wrong. She's dumb. Or careless. Or dumb and careless. Suck it up and stop putting money into her college fund", my parents will yell for a few hours, then lock me up in my SAT dungeon.

I hate the SAT dungeon.

Wistful Thinking...

Happy 5 months, Ruven! Don't buy a cheap wife in China; they're skeevy.

So remember my good news about vising NJ-NY for Thanksgiving? That plan kind of fell through because my mom's flight was cancelled. >< That sucked, uh, a lot. Yeah...
Black Friday was Black Friday. Woke up early, got back early, took a nap and woke up late.

I don't know what I'm going to do with myself these days. With Hello Dolly auditions and SATs, I think I just might die. Um... yeah.

So MCA and CHS and MRHS are all at PMUNC.
But MTH isn't because it's a crap school with crap motivation and crap treasury. [siiiiigh]

Long live Xanga!

I have this urge to start writing again... but I don't have the time for it.
I also have this urge to work out more, but again, the time factor is really killing me. And when I have the time it's when I am done eating or... doing HW or... I'm procrastinating.
Whatever.

Feeling... sentimental and overly reminiscent. I'm not comfortable with change and how technologically dependent we're getting. The party debates using Youtube? I like Youtube, I do. But with all the celebrities that have come out of it, I just think it's getting a little out of control.
Okay, a lot out of control.
And digital books? Spawn of Satan, right up there with SUVs and the Hummer, t3h ultimate 3v1L

Good news or bad news first? Good.

So I'm coming to NEWARK (NJ) for Thanksgiving, mostly to spend time in the city (That's Manhatten, you weird Maryland people who thought I was talking about Baltimore, gag me.) I will be coming on Friday, most likely in the afternoon - evening, and leaving on Sunday. So I have all of Saturday to do whatever. Friday evening and Sunday morning-afternoon is probably a good time to do some chilling with my NJ-NYC friends, so let me know. =)

Here comes some rant crap.

My dream:
Basically, it revolved around my anxiety about time. I was late to everything and I would look away for what seemed like a moment and come back to find that minutes or even hours had passed unknowingly. Thus, I felt uber rushed and could not get things in on time. It didn't help that someone I was feeling extreme animosity towards lately was there doing things that frustrated me. (Specifically, there was a weird bus situation and I wanted to walk to school; said person would not come with me, and would not allow me to go alone or at all, really.)
Interpretation: I am really stressed out about time and deadlines. I truly truly am. I woke up with my fists clenched and feeling SO stressed and rushed. It scared me. Maybe b/c I was taking a nap instead of doing something productive?

Mental Illness Screenings
So you know how, online, you can take random screenings to see if you have certain mental disorders? Let's see what I got:

Depression:
Your screening results indicate a high likelihood that you are suffering from severe depression.

Your answers also show you might be at risk for harming yourself.

You are advised to see your doctor or a mental health professional immediately for a complete evaluation - or dial "911" - or call 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255). - or go immediately to the nearest hospital Emergency Room for an evaluation.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
Score: 18 (12 and up, OCD is likely) (Max score is 40, I think.)
Based upon your responses to this screening measure, you are most likely suffering from an obsessive-compulsive disorder. You can view symptoms and treatment options for this disorder. This is not a diagnosis, or a recommendation for treatment. However, it would be advisable and likely beneficial for you to seek a professional diagnosis from a trained mental health professional in your community immediately.

ADD/ADHD
Below 70, Not Associated with ADHD
Your answers to this adult ADHD screening test suggest that you are not in the range associated with a high probability of ADHD.

Well. At least I don't have an attention deficit.

But I hate being so right about the other 2...
...gah...

Good news or bad news first? Good.

So I'm coming to NEWARK (NJ) for Thanksgiving, mostly to spend time in the city (That's Manhatten, you weird Maryland people who thought I was talking about Baltimore, gag me.) I will be coming on Friday, most likely in the afternoon - evening, and leaving on Sunday. So I have all of Saturday to do whatever. Friday evening and Sunday morning-afternoon is probably a good time to do some chilling with my NJ-NYC friends, so let me know. =)

Here comes some rant crap.

My dream:
Basically, it revolved around my anxiety about time. I was late to everything and I would look away for what seemed like a moment and come back to find that minutes or even hours had passed unknowingly. Thus, I felt uber rushed and could not get things in on time. It didn't help that someone I was feeling extreme animosity towards lately was there doing things that frustrated me. (Specifically, there was a weird bus situation and I wanted to walk to school; said person would not come with me, and would not allow me to go alone or at all, really.)
Interpretation: I am really stressed out about time and deadlines. I truly truly am. I woke up with my fists clenched and feeling SO stressed and rushed. It scared me. Maybe b/c I was taking a nap instead of doing something productive?

Mental Illness Screenings
So you know how, online, you can take random screenings to see if you have certain mental disorders? Let's see what I got:

Depression:
Your screening results indicate a high likelihood that you are suffering from severe depression.

Your answers also show you might be at risk for harming yourself.

You are advised to see your doctor or a mental health professional immediately for a complete evaluation - or dial "911" - or call 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255). - or go immediately to the nearest hospital Emergency Room for an evaluation.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
Score: 18 (12 and up, OCD is likely) (Max score is 40, I think.)
Based upon your responses to this screening measure, you are most likely suffering from an obsessive-compulsive disorder. You can view symptoms and treatment options for this disorder. This is not a diagnosis, or a recommendation for treatment. However, it would be advisable and likely beneficial for you to seek a professional diagnosis from a trained mental health professional in your community immediately.

ADD/ADHD
Below 70, Not Associated with ADHD
Your answers to this adult ADHD screening test suggest that you are not in the range associated with a high probability of ADHD.

Well. At least I don't have an attention deficit.

But I hate being so right about the other 2...
...gah...

Good news or bad news first? Good.

So I'm coming to NEWARK (NJ) for Thanksgiving, mostly to spend time in the city (That's Manhatten, you weird Maryland people who thought I was talking about Baltimore, gag me.) I will be coming on Friday, most likely in the afternoon - evening, and leaving on Sunday. So I have all of Saturday to do whatever. Friday evening and Sunday morning-afternoon is probably a good time to do some chilling with my NJ-NYC friends, so let me know. =)

Here comes some rant crap.

My dream:
Basically, it revolved around my anxiety about time. I was late to everything and I would look away for what seemed like a moment and come back to find that minutes or even hours had passed unknowingly. Thus, I felt uber rushed and could not get things in on time. It didn't help that someone I was feeling extreme animosity towards lately was there doing things that frustrated me. (Specifically, there was a weird bus situation and I wanted to walk to school; said person would not come with me, and would not allow me to go alone or at all, really.)
Interpretation: I am really stressed out about time and deadlines. I truly truly am. I woke up with my fists clenched and feeling SO stressed and rushed. It scared me. Maybe b/c I was taking a nap instead of doing something productive?

Mental Illness Screenings
So you know how, online, you can take random screenings to see if you have certain mental disorders? Let's see what I got:

Depression:
Your screening results indicate a high likelihood that you are suffering from severe depression.

Your answers also show you might be at risk for harming yourself.

You are advised to see your doctor or a mental health professional immediately for a complete evaluation - or dial "911" - or call 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255). - or go immediately to the nearest hospital Emergency Room for an evaluation.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
Score: 18 (12 and up, OCD is likely) (Max score is 40, I think.)
Based upon your responses to this screening measure, you are most likely suffering from an obsessive-compulsive disorder. You can view symptoms and treatment options for this disorder. This is not a diagnosis, or a recommendation for treatment. However, it would be advisable and likely beneficial for you to seek a professional diagnosis from a trained mental health professional in your community immediately.

ADD/ADHD
Below 70, Not Associated with ADHD
Your answers to this adult ADHD screening test suggest that you are not in the range associated with a high probability of ADHD.

Well. At least I don't have an attention deficit.

But I hate being so right about the other 2...
...gah...